i open my eyes and see the never ending vastness of the clear ocean
i smell the salt and seawater as it mists across my face
im not really on the beach
they tell me in sitting in math class
i think they are lying to me
they tell me that i am losing my mind
i smile
knowing that i can relax now
im not losing my mind i say
my mind is on the beach
therefore it is not lost i know exactly where it is
perhaps it is my body that is lost
1 comment:
his poem has wonderful movement. i also think the logic of the poem is its strongest point. id like to see the logic on display more, rather than the explanation of it. for example, instead of saying "my mind is not lost, its on the beach/ therefore i know exactly where it is"--or something to that effect. I'd like to see "my mind is not lost/ its on the beach." simple, effective, and fluid. i hope these remarks are not taken as critical but collaborative. im one reader that was intrigued by one of your poems. ciao.
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